You're not the Boss of Me

See this?  This cute bugger made such an impact on our lives the past 9 years..

at 1 year old

My world revolved around his well being and the decision to choose him and his father over my career development was a decision I NEVER regretted.  But, we feed him three (sometimes five) squares meal a day and can not stop him from growing up... no matter how much I want to..

in 4th grade at 9 years old

 Now this once cute and cuddly boy is becoming a mini nightmare as he now asserts his choices in clothes, food, sounds to even TV shows and especially, what to do during his free time.  He still obeys orders but only to a minimum point, unless his Dad or I are already nearing angry and if eyes could roll even higher, his would be at the back of his head by now.

Unlike Western cultures where we fear more, growing up in the Philippines, and studying in a sectarian Catholic school has its advantages.  For now, I don't worry on smoking, internet and cellphone usage and girls yet, simply because my son is still young (he's still a baby!!!)  My issues at the onset are:

a) Getting ready for Body Changes - its coming.. sooner than I think.  And I'm not just talking about height and weight.  I already noticed hair in the legs and upper lip.  And is he ready for that all important C next summer.

b) The need for Independence - to do 'stuff' on his own.  Its just that its hard not to hover and check.  I suffer separation anxiety more than my son did during those 'big moments'.  Again, I can't do anything but accept and welcome the change.

c) Respect Authority / Follow Rules - We've lived by rules our whole lives.  As early as now, Dad and I tell Busy Boy, if you don't want to follow the rules, you are free to step out of the house.   We play together and do stuff together but there's a line that shouldn't be crossed.   Busy Boy also needs to be reminded that its not only us that he needs to obey, but all older family members.

So what's a mom got to do?

First, trust.  I should take that leap of faith that we taught him well enough to know what is right from wrong.

Next, be ready to listen.   Even at a young age, Dad and I seek out his opinion on things and we taught him to speak.  There will be times he won't want to talk, but when he does, I will be 'drop everything, what is it' there.

Then, don't shout and scream..   I really need to work on this..

Lastly, spend time with each other.  I think my husband and I have made a home where my son would want to come home to after school.  I'd like to keep it that way so that its the best place he'd rather be.  We've still got a few years to go where Busy Boy may want to spend time with his parents... and maybe extend that to a 'bonding time' when he's an adult.

There's s no clear cut formula on how to raise a tween.. and Lord knows what will come next raising a tween.   It will be just like going back that day in time, when a 6.6 pound baby was thrust in arms and I had no I idea what to do next, this time, hand in hand with squirmier tween, I shall be learning once more... 

Now what?? :)